King Size happened to win a competition to travel, all expenses paid, to Guatemala to perform in front of what we imagined would be a packed arena of screaming fans. I was surprised that he wanted me to rub his strings with isopropyl alcohol in between every song of their set, but I did my best to comply, despite my lack of motivation. In the first months of Weezer's existence, I roadied occasionally for my friend Kevin's band, King Size, helping out the bassist with his gear. The conflict between my desires seemed to be the compelling subject I had needed, so I put it together along with the details of Amy's story in a song called "Paperface" (Track 14). On the other hand I wanted to live conservatively, to have a stable family and to keep my life structured so that I could get the most out of it. On the one hand, I wanted to live as Amy apparently had, following my impulses and blasting away at the feeling of in-authenticity in my life. Whether any part of it was true or not 1, it stirred up some conflicting feelings in me. The story sounded like it was straight off a Sonic Youth album cover. I couldn't believe it: Amy was one of the sweetest–not to mention prettiest–girls in our class. Apparently, Amy had stolen a car, sped off to New Orleans and gotten herself arrested. My best friend Justin told me a juicy new rumor about Amy Moore, a classmate of ours from high school. It should employ the soft-verse/loud-chorus song structure used in songs like "Gigantic" or "Teen Spirit." And it must have been a captivating lyrical subject. A great song should have the aggressive performance style I had heard recently from the Pixies, Nirvana, and Sonic Youth. and what not to do.Ī year before I read Wilson's book, I had already postulated a few essential ingredients to a great song for me. But now, fifteen years later, I see that my life has been about something else in addition to experiencing "the happiness of the creative moment." It's also been about learning how to achieve those creative moments. His words seemed to describe my life perfectly at the time. I particularly identified with his words, "My whole life, since I discovered music, has been about only one thing: about experiencing the sheer, pure, unencumbered, liberating happiness of the creative moment" (390). When I first read Brian Wilson's autobiography, Wouldn't It Be Nice, in 1993, I strongly identified with the author's sense of self-doubt, creative struggles and passion for music.
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